For years, I was trapped in my own inability to say no. Not understanding why I would be busy all the time but not be able to do the things that I wanted to do. The things that I deemed necessary and worthwhile. Only when I realised that I myself was to blame for this prison of cinderblocks, was I able to break the wall.
During my work-life I noticed that I had a hard time saying no. Every time someone would make a request or ask me a favour I would say yes. Stemming from a desire to help people, on the other side, I was not sure what was expected of me. I thought that if someone asked me a request, then it should be my responsibility, otherwise why would they ask me, right? No. Saying no is one of the most important skills one can develop, to live life without being pushed around by the currents of the day.
In this blog, I want to demonstrate the importance of saying no. Wrapped in story about a little prince and a beaver.
The little prince#
So once upon a time, there was a little prince, he was a joyous fellow, full of life and energy. He lived in a great castle, built by his great-great grandfather. The little prince always fancied a morning walk through the woods that were behind the castle that he lived in. A beautiful river flowed through the woods, providing clean and fresh water for the well in the courtyard of the castle. art of
The beaver#
As he strolled along the river, a beaver spotted the young boy and approached him. “Oh dear prince, you have a beautiful castle. I wish I had a home just like you. A place where I could sleep safely without fear of predators trying to eat me while I sleep. Could you offer me a home?” said the beaver. The little prince, as emphatetic as he was, felt sorry for the beaver. Knowing that he could go to sleep between the safe walls of his castle that protect him from any invaders at night. “I can build you a home in this river.” the prince said. The beaver lit up with joy. “Oh thank you, prince, you are so kind”. A glow of satisfaction ran through the body of the little prince.
The work#
Thus the little prince went to work and built the most magnificent home for the beaver. The beaver laid down and watched from a distance as the boy was doing his work. At the end of the afternoon, the little prince approached the beaver. “I have built a beautiful home in the river, please, go see”. The beaver dashed towards his new home. “Oh it is beautiful, prince, thank you so much. I knew I could count on you.” said the beaver.
The little prince went home and climbed into bed. He had a good feeling about the day. He helped the beaver with feeling safe and secure. “Oh what a good person I am”, thought the little prince.
The consequences#
The next morning, the little prince woke up. He went down to the courtyard to get some of that fresh and clean water from the well. To his surprise, the well was empty. “No water, how?”, the little prince thought. The little prince left the castle convinced he will find the cause of it. Outside the castle he saw that the river had stopped flowing to the castle. He followed the empty river, where once the fresh and clean water had flowed. Until he came to the house of the beaver. A lake had formed on the other side of the beavers house.
The little prince approached the house of the beaver, knocked on the tiny door. The beaver opened and with a little surprise said “Yes?”. “Your house is blocking my source of fresh and clean water” said the little prince. “That is not my problem.” snapped the beaver and slammed the door in the little prince’s face.
The afterglow#
Out of kindness and feeling of pity the prince decided to help the beaver. He gave his response without thinking about what implications this would have for his own needs. In contrast, the beaver took responsibility for his own needs. He accomplished the goal he had envisioned. One could say in an efficient way, the beaver did not have to spent much energy to reach his goal of being able to sleep safely. So why did the little prince not say no? Keep this story in the back of your head, as we together dive into the hardships of saying no in the next post. Hasta luego!